Social Media “Guru”

I came across a post on Tumblr from Wil Wheaton that talked about how social media “gurus” are pretty much just money-grubbing gits who fill your head with terms like ‘Klout score’ and ‘brand’ etc when in fact, social media isn’t that hard and you don’t have to pay these doofuses money to be involved in it.

I mostly concur.

Here’s the full quote:

“Social media ain’t that goddamn hard, people. You know how, like, you’re a person who walks around and talks to people at the mall, or at work, or at the dinner table? And how it doesn’t behoove you to be a total fucking asshole there? Do the same thing online. There! Ta-da! I just saved you from hiring a social media guru who will take your money in order to infuse your social media presence with the rank snot-curdling odor of sour douchebaggery (“brand!” “platform!” “Klout score!”). Also: piss on anybody who wants to take your money to give you 10,000 new “followers” in the blink of an eye. Five hundred awesome followers are better than 10,000 non-followers carved out of the quivering meat-gelatin that is digital spam. Now, if they’re offering you 10,000 artificially-intelligent hunter-killer robots, hey, hook me up.”

This is “Bullshit Social Media Services” from 25 Things Writers Should Beware by Chuck Wendig. It is applicable to more than writers. (via wilwheaton)

and here’s my take on it:

An excellent comment that I, as a social media editor, mostly concur with. However, while I don’t deal with celebrities in social media, I do deal with local small businesses, as well as readers (I work for a newspaper) who constantly tell me they just “don’t get it” and would rather pay someone to worry about it for them. OR they simply don’t have time to manage their social media presence. In that case, I’ll happily be paid to manage your presence for you.

What I won’t do is give a toss about raising your Klout score (I despise Klout and its ilk), or treat your account like a brand, or behave like a douche. If you like, I’m happy to just train you on how it all works (it really isn’t rocket science. I don’t know why people make it harder than it is.) and let you run wild on your own if you prefer.

What I will do is infuse your account with a personality. I run multiple Twitter/Facebook accounts for my newspaper and I do it all manually. I crack jokes with our readers. I used to do Haiku Tuesdays and tweet the headlines as haikus. I handle incoming news tips. I help people who didn’t get their paper that day and want to bitch about it. I’ve been doing this for years and I’m pretty damn good at it.

If I’m tweeting for your small business, I won’t automate your tweets. I won’t ignore customer queries or complaints. I will pimp your latest project/special but I won’t be spammy or douchey about it. I will be a real person managing a new avenue for customer or fans or whatever to access you.

I’m not an expensive ‘consultant.” I’m not a “guru.” But I do know what the hell I’m doing and I can explain it to you so that you understand it, or if you don’t want to bother, I can manage it for you. That’s what I do. I do enjoy helping people understand how powerful social media can be, especially for small businesses. I dig seeing that moment when they realize it’s more than just telling people what you had for lunch. It’s like seeing that click when you finally grasp a difficult math or science problem.

If that makes me a pretentious douchenozzle in the social media world, well ok. I’ll live with that.